Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
