He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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