I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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