You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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