I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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