No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
