We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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