The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
