My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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