a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
