Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
