just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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