Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
