You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
