do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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