he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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