So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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