evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
