I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
