dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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