She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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