my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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