He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
