So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize