I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize