Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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