I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize