PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
