Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.