Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there was a trapeze. enough said
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
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Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.