Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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(650): just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low. http://tfl.nu/fwog

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(913): View more from Kansas

Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...

(1-913): View more from Kansas

What?!

(913): View more from Kansas

Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!

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(913): Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom... (1-913): What?! (913): Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!! http://tfl.nu/4m0s

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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(810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk

Replies (31) Good night (1614) Bad night (6336)
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(905): View more from Ontario

while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"

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(905): while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger" http://tfl.nu/ftph

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(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?

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(847): as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning? http://tfl.nu/weqo

Replies (22) Good night (9936) Bad night (965)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's only a little bit crosseyed.

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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(610): He's only a little bit crosseyed. (484): I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much. http://tfl.nu/gez3

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(818): View more from California

That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth

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(818): That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth http://tfl.nu/emd7

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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?

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(303): Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us? http://tfl.nu/b72r

Replies (20) Good night (830) Bad night (2514)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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(715): I haven't seen her in ages, how is she? (651): Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better http://tfl.nu/q7yr

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(307): View more from Wyoming

all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

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(307): all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot. http://tfl.nu/o7h8

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(863): View more from Florida

So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.

(1-863): View more from Florida

You're a fucking train wreck.

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(863): So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal. (1-863): You're a fucking train wreck. http://tfl.nu/4qd3

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(+61): View more from Australia

I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

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(+61): I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey? http://tfl.nu/wn19

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(937): View more from Ohio

BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies

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(937): BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies http://tfl.nu/slm2

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(928): View more from Arizona

I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five

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(928): I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five http://tfl.nu/12yz

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(515): View more from Iowa

I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.

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(515): I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom. http://tfl.nu/zme8

Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (236)

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