Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Since when is my clitoris pierced?