After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
