so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
