but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
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In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!