Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.