I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess