he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room