A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work