I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
