sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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