woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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