no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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