OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
