In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
