Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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