genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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