we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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