hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
