Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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