he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize