Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
