I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
