I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Who wears a wallet chain?!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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