is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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