I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize