Porn is love you can see.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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