i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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