Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
