It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
now i know why i became what i already was.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize