so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize