See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
