Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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