In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
