I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
