dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
