he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
