It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
