New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
